wondering...

assalamualaikum n hello there...

being inside the room without talking to somebody make me feel like i'm all alone inside here.. sometimes i almost forget that there are still somebody here... all of the lonely time make me wonder something... like usual i always got LILSOMETHING in mind every time... i always like wanting to keep it there... sometimes it's not good either.. keeping all for youself then you juz like stress out alone.. you know..

the thing i'm wondering this time not only this time but almost always is that.. what are my friend think about me.. what kind of friend i am to them.. do they like me or they dont or they do they need me or dont or do they just need me for certain time so they decided to juz keep me so that they have me when the time come.. and what kind of friend i am to them.. am i just monday to friday kind of friend or am i thier best friend like all time...?????

throughout my life i barely had a friend i mean like that true friend that stick around with u from school till now.. since i'm not that kind of stand out and popular and stuff.. i'm kind of quite and doing my own thing and hard to had a conversation with bcoz i'm kind of not speak to the person that i dont know untill they talk to me and i will be ok once i'm use to them.. i guess that's why i dont have much friend.. people dont know me..

i'm kind of jlez when i saw or heard story of friendship of guys.. once they are friend they just stick to that friendship till they die.. starting with just 2 of them then add and add and become big friend.. like a family.. always be with you no matter what.. no matter time.. and no matter what problem you have.. you cry they cry or cool you down and support you and stuff.. whenever you need them.. just call and they will be there.. well frankly i dont have all that.. i barely had anybody with me when i really need one.. yeah i understand.. it's hard to find a friend to cry then a friend to laugh with.. hmmm..

it's just that LILSOMETHING i had in mind.. that's all for now i think...
till then.. daaa

lilsomething said: still waiting for such thing to happen.. still save some hope on that :)

HOLIDAY!!!

assalamualaikum n hello there...

it's holiday...
well i bet the sound of holiday will make us expect the fun and full of excitement..
but for me.. let just not put high expectation on that.. so far it has been been 4 days of my holiday.. guest what i've been doing.. the first day me n my gurl went out to watch movie.. second day went out to town karaoke.. window shopping and stuff.. that's all.. for another 2 day i'm stranded in my room alone... waiting for thursday 2 come.. if and only if everything is going to be like what we had planned.. so far the day keep on being postpone for some reasone..
everybody now is talking about their experience going here and there showing what they bought and stuff.. but for me.. i figured out maybe i should just do my bussiness.. i mean real bussiness... or work actually.. lots of thing to be settled and guess what... mind me if i would like to bother them about this.. it just waste of my time.. who want to do work on holiday right.. it's just me who being bored to death that make me do the work.. and bcoz of i know if i did'nt do it who else will..

well my holiday did not turned out the way i had imagine.. all of my fwend on an island or something.. spend 2 0r 3 days there.. enjoying the nature and the beauty of sea n fish n the breeze of the ocean.. the sand.. hmmm.. that will only be in my dream.. shortage of transport and of coz money.. like what they say.. "NO MONEY NO TALK" hmm.. i really wanted to but i cant.. i can just hope 1 day i will be able to bcoz i really need one...

that's all for now i think..

till then daaaaaa....

crazy me

assalamualaikum n hello there....

it's been quite sometime since the last time i wrote something here..trust me its not that i dont want to but i cant... life starting becoming bzier and crazy sometime (is it..??).. i dont know.. i had something in mind... something that is stupid.. but it have been quite some time i've been keeping this feeling about this and it's starting to annoyed me.. or hurt me.. i just can't believe i even cry bout this.. how stupid am i.. it's just the feeling about not being recognised.. even with your classmate n even with your group for assgnmnt.. although i've been with them for i dont know 6 month ++ and been doing assgnmnt with them.. making it more sad is when they know all of my friend except me.. i know that i dont stand out much.. but whenever and wherever they are i'm just kind of there.. n they juz i dont know seing me as invisible or something till they say they never saw me before.. ??? its not that i want to be popular or something.. this thing always happen to me since forever.. at school.. and now.. hmm.. it's sad actually hanging around with people that are very well known and you just like a shadow of them or something.. the same story goes to him.. when everybody know him.. like him.. especially gurls... kind of freaking me out coz it is not juz any gurl.. it's like the princess type very pretty and perfect or something.. something it makes me get on my nerve whenever i opened FB seing they commenting or giving advise or something about something i dont even know what happen to them and it's kind of irritating...

recently the fighting event is becoming more frequent than usual and it's not just any fighting or misunderstanding.. the one that hurt the most is me.. now that he cant control his anger n protecting his "FRIENDS" more than me.. when whatever his "FRIENDS" said is more valuable than me till i feel that i'm useless for him so i wanted him to let go of me.. coz his "FRIENDS" are a lot better than me till i have no right to know what his problems are.. and i think that he think his "FRIENDS" and only his "FRIENDS" understand him better than me... AARRRGGGGHHHH... all the "FRIENDS" thing just... !@#$%^&.. ohh i felt realy tired and sick of all these thing..

when i though about it.. is it i'm jelous bcoz i dont have all that?? or is it i'm afraid to lose him?? it's just me who though all that not him.. not they.. who am i to them right.. yeah it's me.. NOBODY.. THE UNKNOWN.. STRANGER.. for him i might be jelous... but for them.. sometime it might be but i'm used to that so it can't be.. but whenever it happen i'm just irritated.. that's all.. sometimes it is good not to be known (that is what i feel).. but sometime it just so irritating..

lilsomething say: missing someone who will always be with me...

PENANG

assalamualaikum n helloo there

FINALLY... cek da smpai penang....hahahaha... i'm home... windunya ngn my mom, dad, brother, sister.. ehm.. n other.. especially the food.. haha.. 1st day trus dpt mee mamak.. haha mmg tiada tolok bndingnya.. da ciap ad jdual what to eat n what 2 do dring this holiday huhu.. first of my holiday was spent wif my family.. it's bowling time... hahaha.. really had a good time wif them.. luv my family so much...

HOME

assalamualaikum n hello there...

i'm coming home... i'm coming home.. tell the world that i'm coming home.. let the rain wash away... all the pain of yesterday.. hahaha... finally all the pain is over... i'm free.. free from exam hahahaha... i cant believe i have just finished my sem 1... i cant believed i managed to stay far away from my family and ehm.... for this long... haha.. very excited to go home.. before that i'm going to meet my fwend.. ana and suria.. miss them 2.. but... as i am feeling this happy and excited... somebody juz spoil it out.. i never forget what happen in the past.. i just can't get over it.. its easy for him coz he never have 2 worry anything more coz the person is no longer here in this world.. but me.. its the other way round.. i've tried but its not working and realising now i have to face her i just cant imagine how it would be.. he can say whatever he wanted to but he cannot change how i feel.. YA ALLAH please make me strong for this.. not juz him who spoil my mood... for the thing that recently happen.. sometimes i feel very lonely.. like i'm actually alone in this world.. like i never exist for them.. i know i'm nobody but am i not part of them.. i'ts obvious.. am i nobody... i know i;m not that clever... my parent not that rich.. is it about money and cleverness that they see and they could admit n know me... i really can't face them.. it hurt really.. knowing that i there are so many people around me yet i feel empty n lonely n like i never exist in this world around them..

look at me now.. i should be very happyn excited to go home yet i'm feeling sad.. never mind.. i still have my friends... if they still remember me.. and have some time for me.. i only have them.. i know i can count on them.. looking forward to see them.. hopefully everything is going to be ok..

till then.... daaaaa...

EXAMMM !!!!

assalamualaikum n hello there...

today 6/1/2012.. FRIDAY... is the first day of my examination.. so what can i say about it... hmmmmmmmmm.......... let me think..... hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... i dont really know what i should say.. for the first part everything seems ok coz it is exactly like the past year question that me and my gurlz did yesterday.... but when it comes to the second part... jeng jeng jeng... (TROUBLE HE WILL FIND YOU NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO OH OH)... HAHA siot je.. there is no number at all... just like almost nothing i can do... 7 question choose 4... but out of the 7 question only one that i confirmed that it is correct... so based on the story how much do you think i can get... hmmmmmmm... ok i just have to stop thinking bout that.. what past is past... need to think for the future.. 2 more killing paper to go.. physical chemistry n organic chemistry.. wish me luck.. till then.. daaaaa....